Chapter 42 You Must Be Ruthless

Although catching a bird was a long shot, they undoubtedly had nests.
If there were bird eggs, they would certainly be our best source of food. This was the only solution I could think of that was both practical and not overly complicated.
Tigers, wolves, bears, leopards, and even certain species of snakes could all be found here. I certainly stood no chance against any of them, and being counter-killed was a very real possibility. Therefore, I had no choice but to target these seemingly harmless birds.
At that moment, I suddenly realized how truly pathetic people like us could sometimes be.
Back in the civilized world, although we could manufacture countless things and casually slaughter animals, once we entered these rainforests, far away from civilized society, we became utterly insignificant and plummeted to the very bottom of the food chain!
Perhaps it was because I had climbed higher, but my horizon had naturally broadened considerably.
I had hardly been standing there for long when I actually spotted birds soaring and dancing across the canopy amid the ocean of green leaves. There were even some exceptionally large ones in the distance, though I couldn't quite tell what species they were.
Yet, seeing them flutter toward my direction from time to time, they seemed to sense my presence.
Down below, Qu Xiang and the other woman naturally had no idea what I was doing.
Seeing a few birds startled into flight by something, they began to circle overhead. However, there were likely many other sounds in this rainforest, so their commotion produced no audible noise.
Perhaps unaccustomed to humans, some birds showed no hesitation at all. They landed on nearby branches, tilting their heads and peering at me. Others fluttered their wings and continued to circle persistently, as if testing whether I posed a threat.
To be honest, I desperately wanted to pull out an arrow and shoot at them. But I knew that would be a complete waste. Setting aside whether my archery skills were up to par, just looking at the dark green tips of the arrows left behind by that fellow made me too afraid to use them recklessly.

Even so, catching sight of these birds stirred a wave of excitement within me.
After all, it wasn't as though birds were entirely absent here, and that alone was enough. As long as I searched diligently, I was bound to find something. By then, foraging for a few bird eggs shouldn't be too difficult. Though I hadn't seen any yet, I felt as though my mind was suddenly brimming with hope.
Consequently, I became a bit carried away and completely forgot that I was standing high up in a tree. Seeing that one of the birds was quite large and perched not too far away, I tightened my grip on the sharp wooden spike and prepared to hurl it.
I completely forgot that I was standing on a tree branch. As a result, before I could throw the spike, I lost my center of gravity. My foot slipped, and I plunged directly toward the forest floor. Stricken with mortal terror, I failed to hold on to anything and tumbled all the way down.
Having nothing to break my fall, I was almost frightened out of my wits.
Fortunately, because I was wearing the bundle of bamboo-vine rope and the tree branches were dense, I snapped several twigs on my way down. Thanks to the bundle of rope on my back catching on some branches, my descent was cushioned slightly.
Amidst my panic, I grabbed wildly at anything—even letting go of the spike—and finally managed to clutch a branch. Ignoring the sharp pain it inflicted on my fingers, survival instinct took over and I could no longer care about anything else. I gripped it tightly without letting go, regardless of where I was hanging.
"A-Jing! A-Jing! Are you alright?" Qu Xiang and Lan Fang, who were down by the fork of the tree, couldn't see exactly what I was doing, but they had a clear view of my position. Seeing me suddenly fall had naturally scared them out of their wits as well.
However, when they saw that I had ultimately caught a branch and steadied myself, Qu Xiang cried out anxiously.
"I'm fine! Won't die yet!" I forced a casual tone, though my heart was still pounding with lingering fear.
"A-Jing, Sister Fang said that if A-Fen wakes up, we should let her stay with us!" Seeing that I was truly unhurt, Qu Xiang let out a sigh of relief. But her tone abruptly shifted, bringing up Huang Jianfen.
"What?" To be completely honest, my relationship with Huang Jianfen was not deep. Even if she had some connection to Lan Fang, and even if she got along well with Qu Xiang, so what?
Back when Peng Qian abandoned Lan Fang and even parted ways with us, Huang Jianfen—despite her ties to Lan Fang and her status as a close colleague of Qu Xiang—had ultimately chosen to side with Peng Qian. At that very moment, I had already decided that whatever she suffered hereafter, she would have to take responsibility for her own choices.
Now, Lan Fang was barely able to look after herself, and we hadn't even solved our food shortage. Yet they were already considering taking in another person? In Brother Wen's words, we were entirely a vulnerable group here. We were like clay Bodhisattvas crossing a river, unable even to guarantee our own survival. Naturally, I wanted no part in this trouble!

Therefore, I deliberately played the fool, acting as though I hadn't clearly heard Qu Xiang's words. I scrambled back down the tree to retrieve the wooden spike; I certainly didn't want to lose that weapon.
"A-Jing..." Qu Xiang looked visibly awkward. Clearly, she hadn't thought things through, so she cast a helpless glance at Lan Fang.
I climbed back up the tree since everything was temporarily stable. Anticipating that they would bring this up sooner or later, I looked at Lan Fang and said calmly, "Don't even mention her. Even if it were anyone else who chose to abandon us and side with Peng Qian from the beginning, expecting us to save them the moment trouble strikes—this isn't a shelter!"
"Besides, didn't they abandon us and take all our supplies? Didn't that cut off our retreat?" I raised my voice slightly, a cold edge creeping into my tone. "And now we're supposed to swallow our pride and crawl back to them? I honestly don't understand your logic!"
It wasn't that I was being heartless; rather, Brother Wen's words had suddenly echoed in my mind.
We didn't even have enough food for ourselves, and Huang Jianfen in her current state would undoubtedly be a massive burden. I could be a good friend to those who deserved it. Even though Lan Fang was merely someone Qu Xiang couldn't bear to abandon, I was willing to keep her and take care of her.
However, people who could so readily betray their friends—those were individuals I wanted nothing to do with!
"Xiangxiang, A-Jing makes sense." Whether Lan Fang had calmed down or not, she gazed at Qu Xiang, her fingers gripping the other woman's arm tightly.
Yet, for the first time, a look of sorrow flickered in her eyes, carrying a heartbreaking and utterly fragile helplessness: "When they made their choice back then, they should have been prepared to accept the consequences! Though we don't know if they can survive out there on their own, can we really just stand by and watch her die?"
I didn't answer immediately, as Lan Fang looked at me with a questioning gaze. I felt an impulse to fly into a rage, but when I saw the tears welling in her eyes, that pathetic, vulnerable expression almost melted my resolve.
Yet, the lingering pain from my fall suddenly flared up within me, reminding me instantly that I could not afford to soften my heart. Precious anti-inflammatory drugs and antibiotics aside, even the single biscuit allotted to each person was an unimaginable luxury for us.