Chapter Thirty-Nine: Rogues, Bandits, and Shameless Scoundrels!

As soon as they entered the main hall, everyone’s gaze was drawn first to a long, brown table over ten meters in length and nearly a meter wide, standing half a man’s height. Next, what truly caught the eye were twenty armchairs—something never before seen in the Tang dynasty!

“Yi! Are these... tables and chairs?” Li Ke stared with wide eyes, his face a mask of disbelief.

“Oh, these are tables and chairs I invented when I had nothing better to do. I could never get used to those low tables and backless stools, so I made these instead!”

No sooner had Li Yi finished speaking than the three Cheng brothers and the two brothers from the Yuchi family raced eagerly to claim a chair each. They wiggled left and right, sprawled forward and leaned back, thoroughly enjoying themselves.

A sly grin curled at the corner of Cheng Chumo’s mouth. “Ha! Wen Yong, these tables and chairs are fantastic—so much better than those low tables and stools. This is how a real man should sit! No question about it, Wen Yong, later you must pack up a couple for me to take home. I’ll show my father some filial piety for once!”

Yuchi Baolin, not to be outdone, chimed in, “Exactly, Yi! You’ll have to give us two sets as well. Otherwise, how will we explain ourselves to our father?”

A pang shot through Li Yi’s heart; suddenly, he felt as though he’d let wolves into his home.

Li Ke took a seat in one of the chairs, tested it out, and groaned with satisfaction. “You two blockheads, we’re here at Yi’s place to eat—how can you be so shameless?”

Li Yi immediately cast a grateful look at Li Ke. What loyalty! No question, from now on the title of the second most handsome man under heaven was his.

But then Li Ke added, “If you’re taking them, wait till tomorrow!”

Li Yi nearly stumbled in exasperation.

Li Zhen and Qin Huaiyu also found seats.

Li Zhen looked around and remarked, “Exactly. Can’t you see these tables and chairs are just made? Give Yi a bit of time; there’s no need to rush.”

Qin Huaiyu joined in, “And don’t ask for these defective ones, either!”

Li Yi suddenly had the urge to hit someone. “Fine! You’re my guests today, so I’ll endure it. But remember this: better to provoke the King of Hell than a brat, and better to provoke a brat than to cross Li Wenyong!”

He took a deep breath and put on a smile.

“Haha, let’s not talk about all that. Brothers, it’s still early for dinner—we can’t just sit here doing nothing. How about a game?”

“What game?” they asked.

Li Yi grinned, pulling out three decks of playing cards. “I invented these out of boredom. I call them playing cards, and there are many ways to play! Since there are ten of you, let’s split into groups of three, three, and four. You can play Landlord and Stud Poker. I’ll explain the rules first...”

When he’d finished, he looked up to find eyes blazing with excitement; they could hardly wait to try. In the Tang dynasty, gambling meant little more than dice and guessing games—tedious at best. They’d never seen anything this fresh and thrilling before.

“Let’s play a practice round for the first game, and then start for real from the second—how about it?” Cheng Chumo, unable to contain himself, agreed immediately. “Done! Let’s get started. I want to play Stud Poker—nobody fight me for it!”

Everyone began forming teams. The cleverest and most dignified—Li Ke, Cheng Chumo, Yuchi Baolin, and Li Zhen—naturally formed the Stud Poker table, while the others split into two groups for Landlord: Cheng Chuliang, Li Yesi, and Qin Huaiyu in one; Cheng Chubi, Li Yexu, and Yuchi Baoqing in the other. There was some jostling—some wanted to play Stud Poker—but the top four kept them in line with their authority and strength. Each found a seat, just enough for all.

In this competitive atmosphere, they started the first round, with Li Yi acting as instructor.

“Ahem! Wei De—that’s your hole card, don’t show it!”

“Chumo, don’t laugh—you didn’t show your hole card, but the second card is supposed to be face-up!”

“Baolin, you’ve got a four of hearts showing—it’s not your turn to bet!”

“Yesi, can four, six, seven, nine, and ten make a straight? Who taught you math?”

Li Yi surveyed them left and right; thankfully, by the fourth hand, they’d finally gotten the hang of it.

“Carry on with the game, brothers. I’ll head to the kitchen and prepare some food for you!” he said.

The group looked up in surprise. Li Ke frowned. “Yi, didn’t we clear up the misunderstanding? Why are you going to such a messy place? Let the servants do it.”

Cheng Chuliang’s eyes twinkled as he added, “Exactly, Yi, if you have nothing to do, come play cards with us. We’re missing one for Stud Poker!”

Li Yi just smiled. “Don’t worry—I’m really going to cook for you. Wait till you’ve tasted my skills and you’ll understand!” And with that, he left.

Li Ke continued to frown. “Yesi, can your big brother really cook?”

Li Yesi thought for a moment and replied earnestly, “I don’t know if my big brother can cook, but I’ve never discovered anything he can’t do!”

Li Ke chuckled. “Fair enough, I didn’t ask.”

Cheng Chumo waved a big hand. “Come on, Prince Ke, does Wen Yong look like someone who’d lose out? Hurry up and play your card!”

“You’re right! Wait—did you swap cards, Chumo?”

“Of course not!”

“How can you be sure? This hand doesn’t count!”

“Why not?”

“Because I already threw my cards!”

“Fine, you win!”

In the kitchen, Li Yi found the meat simmered to perfection, and Auntie Cui had purified plenty of salt—enough for half a month. He found Bingyu quietly reading in the corner, book in hand, leaning against the wall. Her brows were as if painted, her eyes like the moon, her face delicately oval, her figure both demure and full, her spotless white dress making her look like a fairy descended from heaven—so ethereal that Li Yi’s heart skipped a beat.

“Bingyu!”

“Oh! Young master, you’re here!”

“Let’s get started.”

Li Yi then set about his culinary work.

Half an hour later, he had prepared four dishes—braised pork ribs, sweet-and-sour pork, red-braised pork, and a chilled pig’s ear salad—or rather, four heaping platters. He’d found some tofu and eggs in the kitchen, so he made Mapo tofu and scrambled eggs, which counted as vegetarian dishes. Finally, he directed the servants to chop pork, pound garlic into a paste with soy sauce, add salt to the meat broth, and thus made a soup. The meal was complete.

He first had the dishes sent to Li Jing and the elders, then summoned the servants to bring the food, rice, and wine to the main hall. He even set aside portions for the servants as a reward, and Bingyu’s share was a special, deluxe version—she’d been sent to her room to rest, as she’d been working hard lately.

When Li Yi returned to the main hall, the group was still deep in their game.

Especially at the Stud Poker table, where the competition was fierce. Cheng Chumo crouched on his chair, shouting and gesticulating wildly. Yuchi Baolin’s face, usually dark, had gained a flush just like his father’s. Even Li Ke had abandoned his suave demeanor, one foot on his chair, gritting his teeth. Only Li Zhen was smiling contentedly—clearly the only winner. No such luck at the Landlord tables; it was chaos, with tempers ready to erupt.

Li Yi called out twice, but no one paid him any heed.

He could only smile wryly and wave his hand, signaling the servants to carry in the food.

The aroma instantly broke their concentration. Cheng Chumo froze, cards slipping to the floor, nearly drooling. “What’s that smell? What is that?”

“Dinner is served, brothers! Put away the cards!” Li Yi declared.

No sooner had he spoken than the table was cleared in a blink, everyone taking their seats, eyes gleaming with anticipation.

Li Yi was speechless at their speed.

With another gesture, he directed the servants to lay out the wine, dishes, and rice.

He’d thought to introduce each dish, but quickly abandoned the idea—everyone had already buried their heads in their food, ignoring him completely.

The table was a scene of mayhem—growling over food, shouting at each other, the clatter of dropped plates. Just watching them was enough to fill him up. Fortunately, he’d had the foresight to eat his fill in the kitchen.

Half an hour later, the hall finally quieted. Only now did Li Yi understand what it meant to lick plates clean, to leave not a drop of soup, to reduce the table to utter chaos. It was carnage! These weren’t nobles—they were a pack of ruffians, bandits, and shameless scoundrels.

The three Cheng brothers and the two Yuchi brothers sprawled in their chairs, burping, clutching their bellies, groaning from overeating.

The rest fared little better. Li Ke leaned back, smacking his lips, still savoring the feast.

Li Yi looked at the untouched wine and had to laugh—men eating without drinking, now that was a first for him.

After a stick of incense’s time, the group finally began to recover.

Cheng Chubi groaned, “Ugh... Yi... ugh! Yi, your food is incredible! I’ve never eaten... ugh... anything so delicious!”

Cheng Chuliang agreed, “Exactly, Brother Li, did you really cook all this? After eating your food, I feel like everything before was pig slop.”

Cheng Chumo shouted, “Pack some up for me! I want a takeaway!”

Yuchi Jingde added, “Me too!”

Li Zhen said, “Too much trouble—Yi, just lend me your cook!”

Li Ke objected, “What decorum is that? Borrowing a cook? Still, Yi, I’ll send my cook over later—you can give her some training!”

Everyone chimed in, “Great idea!”

Li Yi could only shake his head in defeat. “What a bunch of shameless little rascals.” He’d settle this bill later.

The merriment lasted until around three o’clock before the guests finally dispersed. But when Li Yi returned, he discovered his three decks of playing cards had vanished. He didn’t need to think twice to guess the culprit—but he was pleased nonetheless. Playing cards could be remade, but today he’d truly become part of the Tang dynasty’s circle of young nobles. Whether friend or foe, at least he was no longer alone.

Surveying the chaotic mess left behind, Li Yi decisively abandoned any idea of cleaning up himself. He ordered the servants to clear up, then turned and headed to his workshop—there was still work to be done.