Volume One, Chapter 40: I cannot lose him; I must be with him forever.

The family one is born into leaves an indelible mark on a person; if Xu Heping hadn’t been a father who favored sons over daughters, perhaps Xu Zhi wouldn’t be so resigned to her fate. Yet for Liang Muzi, he could hardly imagine what Xu Zhi would be like if she weren’t obedient. He was used to her compliance and docility—so much so that he found it dull and tedious. But once he voiced that sentiment, the words took on another meaning. Xu Zhi claimed not to care about what he said, but did she truly not care? Even he had to admit those words were rather hurtful.

It was already three in the afternoon when the three of them chose the closest venue to their hotel. Because of its proximity, the place was quite crowded. Out of courtesy, Xu Zhi didn’t immediately contact Yang Xue; she planned to play with Liang Muzi and Chen Jing for a while before finding an excuse to slip away.

However, Chen Jing didn’t know how to ski. She had barely changed into her boots and strapped on her skis before she fell, thankfully with Liang Muzi nearby to steady her. Chen Jing wasn’t embarrassed in the least; she clung to Liang Muzi, exclaiming, “Ah, that scared me to death! It’s so slippery—I can’t even stand up!” Liang Muzi teased her, “You have to use the ski poles properly, don’t keep your knees so stiff. Skiing looks easy, but there’s a knack to it…” He started explaining the basics to Chen Jing. She kept her arms wrapped around him, holding him tightly.

Xu Zhi withdrew her gaze. “You two chat, I’ll go for a round.” She turned and slid toward the distant slope. With Chen Jing and Liang Muzi so absorbed in each other, it was difficult for her even to pretend to join in their fun. She skied far away before stopping, pulling her phone, wrapped in a waterproof pouch, from her jacket pocket. She took off her gloves and called Yang Xue. Unfortunately, Yang Xue wasn’t at this venue and was busy with work at the moment.

Frustrated, Xu Zhi hung up, put away her phone, and stood in the snow, lost in thought. Liang Muzi was probably still holding Chen Jing… Chen Jing was skilled at acting spoiled, and Xu Zhi saw clearly that Liang Muzi was quite susceptible to it. Xu Zhi didn’t know how to act spoiled; she had never done so, not even with her parents. Despite the crowd around her, she felt lonely.

Whenever she felt isolated, she always thought of Liang Jinmo. During their years at the same school, he was always alone; she had never seen him with any friends. So when Liang Muzi’s group bullied him, there wasn’t a single person who would stand up for him.

Despite being bullied, his back was always straight, and he never avoided going to school. If it were her, she couldn’t have managed it; she didn’t have that kind of inner strength.

Xu Zhi quietly thought about Liang Jinmo for a while, and eventually recalled that night when he held her down, his hand gripping her waist… Her face grew hot, and she dared not let her thoughts wander further. She turned back toward the entrance.

With Chen Jing in tow, Liang Muzi had hardly moved from his spot, and Xu Zhi easily spotted the two still clinging to each other. As she glided over, Liang Muzi looked exasperated. “Chen Jing, if you keep holding onto me like this, you’ll never learn to ski. I’ve explained the basics—just try them. You need to balance with your poles.” “I don’t want to,” Chen Jing pouted. “I’ve already fallen twice!”

Xu Zhi considered making an excuse to leave when Liang Muzi spotted her, his eyes lighting up. “Little Zhi, come help! This one refuses to use the ski poles and won’t let go of me.” Xu Zhi was reluctant but approached. Liang Muzi said to Chen Jing, “How about this: let go with your right hand, slowly rest it on Little Zhi’s hand, and try to find your balance. At least try to stand on your own.” He guided her gently, and Chen Jing reluctantly agreed, trembling as she reached for Xu Zhi’s hand. Xu Zhi raised her hand to let her take support.

“Now walk a few steps forward, get used to the feeling,” Liang Muzi instructed. Chen Jing took two or three steps and refused to go any further, despite Liang Muzi’s encouragement. Eventually, she let go of Liang Muzi’s hand. “I know I’m annoying you. Forget it, go ski for a bit. I’ll learn from Little Zhi for a while.” Liang Muzi hesitated, “Are you sure?” “I’ll be fine.” Chen Jing gripped Xu Zhi’s arms tightly and looked at her. “Little Zhi, can you two take turns teaching me? When he gets back, you can go ski.”

Xu Zhi, held by Chen Jing, still felt uncomfortable with someone crossing her boundaries, but she forced herself to endure it. She decided to treat it as part of currying favor with Liang Muzi. She said to him, “It’s fine, I’ll support her and let her get used to it. If you want to play, go ahead and ski for a while.” Liang Muzi replied, “Alright, just be careful. If it’s too much, just stand here. I’ll be back soon.” He put on his goggles and left.

Xu Zhi watched his retreating figure, then turned to Chen Jing. “I saw earlier that there are ski instructors available here. Should I ask one to help you?” Chen Jing shook her head. “A coach would stress me out.” Xu Zhi had nothing more to say. “It’s okay, let’s just try walking a few steps. I think I can manage,” said Chen Jing.

With that, she released one of Xu Zhi’s arms and, holding her ski pole, scraped it on the ground. “I’ll start by learning to walk with the ski pole.” Xu Zhi led Chen Jing forward at a snail’s pace. After a while, Chen Jing stopped, panting. “I’m so nervous I’m sweating.” Xu Zhi said nothing.

Chen Jing took off her goggles and looked at her. “Little Zhi, are you unhappy?” “No,” Xu Zhi replied. “I think you are,” Chen Jing’s gaze was probing. “Is it because of what Muzi said in the restaurant earlier?” Xu Zhi fell silent. She sensed that Chen Jing’s attitude was completely different now that Liang Muzi was gone. She didn’t want to talk further, but with a slope behind Chen Jing, she couldn’t just walk away.

Chen Jing smiled. “You don’t need to take those words to heart. You know how Muzi treats you—he’s so good to his friends that I envy it. That time you ran off to a bar at night and wouldn’t answer his calls, he searched for you all night…”

Xu Zhi sensed a hidden meaning and frowned. Suddenly, Chen Jing asked, “Do you know how important Muzi is to me?” Xu Zhi looked at her, puzzled.

“I used to be a walking corpse, but he gave me new life,” Chen Jing’s eyes burned with near-mad intensity. “So I can’t lose him. I must always be with him.”

Xu Zhi was about to reply when Chen Jing said, “Don’t blame me.” Before Xu Zhi could react, Chen Jing suddenly let go.

Xu Zhi was completely stunned. She had never actually held onto Chen Jing; it had always been Chen Jing gripping her arm, and Xu Zhi merely cooperated. Now, with Chen Jing releasing her grip, the weight on Xu Zhi’s arm vanished instantly.

Everything unfolded in chaotic slow motion—Chen Jing’s body slid rapidly backward, a slope behind her. She dropped her ski pole, her skis slipped across the snow, and she quickly lost her balance, falling onto the snow. Momentum sent her rolling several times before she crashed heavily into a nearby fir tree.

People around screamed; some reacted quickly and rushed to check on Chen Jing. Xu Zhi stared blankly at the figure lying in the snow, as if unable to comprehend what had just happened.