Chapter Eighty-Eight: Oh my heavens!

After Li Er removed his veil, he sat in the seat of honor without speaking for a long while, his gaze fixed on the distance, his face dark with a dreadful gloom. Li Yi had meant to step forward and offer some words of comfort, but after thinking it over, he could not come up with anything to say and could only stand where he was and wait. Of everyone present, the one suffering most was Li You. As everyone knows, death itself is not frightening; what is frightening is waiting for death. Li You was now like a prisoner awaiting sentence, and the anguish in his heart was easy to imagine.

After a long while more, Li Er finally came back to himself, turned his eyes toward Li You, and said slowly, “Tell me everything you know. This is your last chance!”

Li You looked up at the expressionless Li Er, and at last lowered his head in despair.

Half an hour later, Li Yi and Li Er left Li You’s palace and headed straight for the inner chambers.

On the way, Li Er suddenly stopped, turned around, and looked at Li Yi. “Tell me, do you think I am truly such a failure as a father?”

Li Yi’s lips moved slightly, but in the end he said nothing.

Li Er went on, “Do you think this is my punishment?”

Li Yi gave a wry smile and still said nothing.

Li Er pressed him again. “Aren’t you usually so good at lecturing others? Why have you gone mute this time?”

Li Yi grumbled helplessly to himself. Damn it, in all of Great Tang, who would dare point at your nose and say you were wrong? I may be dazed, but I am not a fool. Only an idiot would speak now!

Li Er let out a cold snort. “Hmph. Brat, you heard what you should have heard and what you should not have heard. Do you think keeping quiet will let you escape this time?”

Li Yi froze, then replied with a bitter expression, “Uncle Li, Boss, Your Majesty, I didn’t mean to! You can’t treat me like this. I’m doing things for you! And I’m still underage!”

“Hmph. Underage? I don’t see anything underage about you. Enough nonsense. You are not getting out of this today!”

Li Yi opened his mouth, and at last yielded. “All right. Just tell me what you want me to do.”

The corners of Li Er’s mouth lifted slightly. Seeing Li Yi so thoroughly cornered improved his mood a little. “Good. I won’t make things hard for you. Either you find a way to make me believe you’ve already forgotten what happened today, or you investigate the affair at Fragrant River Pavilion for me and get to the bottom of it.”

“What?” Li Yi nearly burst out in disbelief.

Fragrant River Pavilion was precisely the only useful clue Li You had confessed to: a brothel in the capital used as a hidden base by the Azure Dragon Gang, the secret faction. Yes, a brothel.

Damn it, though it was every man’s dream paradise, if he really went there, Li Yi was honestly a little uneasy. In both his past life and this one, he had always been the passive, secretly sultry type when it came to romance. To visit a brothel so openly—if Snow Goose and Chang Le found out, what then? Damn it, Li You too—what kind of twelve-year-old brat goes prowling through a brothel? Did you even have the qualifications for that?

“Uncle Li, you must think this through! I’m so young—if I go to a brothel and people find out, I’ll die an ugly death!”

Li Er shot Li Yi a glare, turned around, and ignored him.

Li Yi hurriedly moved to face him head-on.

“Om mani mani boom boom boom, spirits in heaven, spirits in earth, open sesame, heaven and earth, grant my command—begone!” Li Yi bumped directly in front of Li Er, then launched into a series of ridiculous theatrics. “All right, Uncle Li, I’ve already forgotten everything that happened today! Huh? Why am I here?”

Li Er’s face darkened into a tangle of black lines. “Oh? Is that so? Then do you still remember molesting the palace maids just now?”

“What? Molesting palace maids? Uncle Li, you’re ruthless!” Li Yi had finally seen through it. Li Er was determined to kick him straight into the fire pit. “Uncle Li, how about this: give me an imperial edict, all right? Then I’d be going on imperial orders to chase women! Otherwise I really have no way to explain it to Chang Le!”

“What does Chang Le have to do with this?”

“How could it have nothing to do with her? Uncle Li, you know I’m an upright man, especially when it comes to Chang Le—I’m absolutely without reservation! If I don’t give her an explanation for something as big as visiting a brothel, my conscience will be condemned!”

Li Er shot out a foot and kicked Li Yi on the backside. “What nonsense. I’m only asking you to do a bit of work, and look at you dragging your feet. Is it really that serious? You even dare ask me for an imperial edict—how did you even come up with that? Get out of here, now! If there’s no result within three days, you can forget about seeing Chang Le again! Hmph!”

With that, Li Er hurried off, leaving only a dumbfounded Li Yi behind.

A stream of curses rose in Li Yi’s mind. Li Er was a complete old lecher. Damn it, he probably couldn’t find anyone else to bully, so he had to force this one on him. Still, looking across Great Tang, among the men who were capable, talented, and handsome, there really was no one except yours truly. Thinking of that, why did he feel a little proud? Pah! Proud of what, exactly?

Li Yi trudged forward with a long face. A quarter of an hour later, he suddenly felt like crying out loud... He had gotten lost again, damn it!

Fortunately, heaven does not leave a man without a path. Just when Li Yi was in despair, Feng Wu appeared. Under the starry sky, bathed in moonlight, Feng Wu wore his general’s uniform and led Dustless along, approaching with a graceful air, like an immortal descending to earth. Ah, no, damn it!

“Guard Feng, you are my real brother!” Li Yi was deeply moved. In this imperial palace, he had discovered that only this Brother Feng could offer him a trace of warmth.

Feng Wu was so unsettled by Li Yi’s look that he shuddered. In the end, unable to hold out, he handed Dustless over to Li Yi, said farewell, and hurried away, leaving Li Yi once again dumbfounded. He had not even asked how to get out of the palace.

Li Yi looked despairingly at Dustless, as though hoping to pour out his grievances to the horse. What he got in return was Dustless’s contemptuous stare. Then Dustless snorted and silently turned away. Once again, Li Yi was left dumbstruck.

What is wrong with everyone?

Two quarters of an hour later, Li Yi walked out of the imperial palace. His mood was far from pleasant, not because Li Er had been unreasonable, nor because Feng Wu had taken Dustless away, but because he was horrified to discover that even Dustless knew the way better than he did. All the way out, he had followed Dustless’s lead completely.

Silently climbing onto Dustless’s back, Li Yi rode home in sorrow. He truly regretted it. Deeply. Damn it, before going out today, why had he not checked the calendar?

Late at night, Li Yi returned home. The instant he appeared, battered all over, the Li residence erupted into complete chaos.

Lady Hongfu flew into a fury. “Which damned soul hurt my grandson? Xiaolan, bring me my broadsword!”

Lady Cui nearly broke down in tears. “Oh dear, how badly are you hurt? It breaks my heart. Come, let your aunt take a look!”

Bingyu clenched both fists. “Young Master, I will avenge you!”

Li Yi: “Good heavens above!”